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10 things to do to survive an emotionally abusive relationship
Emotional abusers tend to look for people with no (or flexible) boundaries, a passive personality, Empaths, Fixers, etc. They love it when their victim lets them get away with the abuse. They love it when their victim is willing to isolate and abandon all friends and family for them. They love it when their victim…
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What is faith? How does it develop?
Jean Piaget was one of the most influential psychological researchers in the area of cognitive development. He developed the four stages of cognitive development theory that shows how an individual’s neurobiological development moves through infancy to adulthood. In the 1950s, psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg began to formulate new ideas based upon Piaget’s theory that analyzed how…
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Why being “sensitive” is not a put-down
Have you identified with being an empath, having a sixth sense, or grew up being labeled as too sensitive? You may have Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS). At the beginning of the twentieth century, Carl Jung was one of the first to notice that some individuals were born with a propensity for being more sensitive than…
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Healing spiritual trauma through personal truths
Kruk describes “spiritual affliction” as a diminishment of faith in others, hope for a better future, and a capacity to give love to others. While I believe that all of these are a part of spiritual affliction, they are mostly connected to emotion about others. These could be defined as emotional trauma because faith in…
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How the church fosters codependency
As a girl, I grew up going to Al-Anon meetings with my mother. Al-Anon is a meeting for those living with an individual struggling with alcoholism–as was my step-father. One of the primary teachings in Al-Anon is about codependency–“a behavioral condition in a relationship where one person enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity,…
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What you need to know about toxic stress
Stress is a universal part of the human experience. More often than not, the stress we experience on a day-to-day basis is tolerable—meaning, we have the coping skills and support to endure it. There is, however, another kind of stress that is not so common has been referred to as toxic stress. Toxic stress, or…
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What it means when a narcissistic pastor says, “I love the church”
I ran across this article while going through a rough place in my life. It had profound meaning for me in dealing with some of the individuals in my life that have narcissistic traits. The article highlights the fact that when a narcissist says, “I love you,” he really means that he loves the way that you…
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I visited a Mosque- and went to church
Today, our local International Rescue Committee organization hosted a solidarity event at the Islamic Society of Wichita while their members were gathering for Friday prayers. We stood outside, held signs, and let them know that we are with them. That we are for them. But before the event I met my new friend, Ratna, for a tour…
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Why I taught my kids to question authority
My generation gets a lot of flak for being “disrespectful” to the older generation. I have heard them say that it is because we are entitled brats that have been handed everything that we could possibly ever ask for without delayed gratification. We get exactly what we want when we want it. While that may…
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Church, our Borderline Mother
Let’s look at Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) states: “Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness marked by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image, and behavior. These symptoms often result in impulsive actions and problems in relationships. People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense episodes of anger,…